Anal douching isn't something we talk about much in our community and we aren't given many opportunities to learn about it. My high school coach taught sex ed. He said Keep it in your pants, boys. For example, you can use a condom on the penis or your finger if you're performing anal penetration with your finger. But as arousing as it can be, many people hold back out of concern about the hygiene of anal play. Anal sex can be pretty unsanitary if you aren't cleaned back there.
I started my career by syndicating a sex and relationships column all over the country and I sort of became known as the East Coast Dan Savage.” I then went on to write my first gay sex book, Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon (Kensington). Some of this sounds pretty intense, but if anal sex is something you're curious about and you feel comfortable doing it, there's no reason it can't be a fun and pleasurable time.
The results tell us that only 37% of gay men always use a condom when having anal sex, while 21% occasionally do and 16% never do. Although pregnancy isn't a concern, STD transmission and considerations about hygiene may impact these numbers. So assuming that you're asking about cleaning things up before anal play, there are definitely some different approaches.
As you insert your finger(s), toy, penis in your anus, slightly push out. Anal beads and vibrators are other sexual toys to help initiate and enhance your anal play. Repeat this process a few times until the water that comes out is clean. When you're ready, insert ONE lubed finger into your asshole and see how it feels.
That's perfectly fine, but you absolutely should never feel forced to have anal sex with anyone. However, it is recommended that you try to repeat this with three fingers as well, especially if you are going to have anal sex with a penis or a penis-shaped sex toy right afterwards.
Let your anus beg for what feels like a penis. And, according to Rebecca how to do anal Dakin, ‘The key thing is relaxation through lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and a sensitive lover who is going to take their time'. Only ever use plain, clean water - preferably body temperature.
Many of you may have your interest in anal sex, but at the same time you don't feel you have an adequate understanding about what is involved in the preparation process and how to have things go as smoothly and comfortably as possible. As well as using lubricant, you also need to give your sphincter time to relax fully.
With the inner part of the rectum, what feels good during sex is mostly the pressure and fullness that comes with being penetrated. Although I had a couple of friends who had tried anal sex, I actually judged them ruthlessly for it. I couldn't believe that any woman would be willing to let her male partner put anything up her ass—especially a penis.
Anal beads are typically used by heterosexual couples to enhance vaginal intercourse, by creating stimulation and a tightening sensation all around the erogenous zones of the vagina and anus, which helps create more pleasure and a stronger orgasm or ejaculation (if used by a man in combination with solo or mutual masturbation) when removed gently just before climax.
Doing this by yourself, where you can take your time learning about your own body and how you react to different types of touch and play, before introducing your partner, can help you feel more relax and better prepared when it comes to being intimate with someone.